Cartoon Clusterf*ck – An Adult Fantasy Comedy Novella

Check out my teaser for my new fantasy comedy Cartoon Clusterf*ck! You can find this book on Amazon and other platforms

What do a toy rabbit, an angry video gamer, and a stuffed horse have in common? Absolutely nothing, but wouldn’t it be funny to thrust them into a world of fantasy and force them to get along? Max certainly doesn’t think so, especially considering he’s already a little hoarse. The rabbit is a little too hoppy but at least the horse is stable. You can find all these gut-busting jokes and more… in my new novella about a man trapped in his ego, trapped inside his childhood, trapped inside ill-fitting pants that pinch his thighs. Armed with only a wadded-up shirt, abundant forehead sweat, and a lack of self-control Max must punch his way through a cast of annoying cartoon characters to figure out how to break this new virtual reality before it’s game over. It’s a story that combines hilarious hijinks, fantasy, and adventure, offering a wild ride for gamer enthusiasts, cartoon lovers, and anyone in need of a good laugh.

This is a story I’ve wanted to tell since childhood which is appropriate considering it’s all about embracing your childhood! As children we all exist in a fantasy world of our own making, believing in an optimistic future that never seems to come. We wish and we dream of becoming a hero, a knight, a doctor, a firefighter, or even president. But when we grow old we lose that hope. We lose those dreams to narcissistic realism. Clusterf*ck was my attempt to force one man, one lonely narcissist, to rediscover that faded innocence, curiosity, and juvenile wonder, whether he wants to or not…During my journey I’ve struggled with my own biting pragmatism, that urge to purge oneself of playful daydreaming, and ruin a perfectly fun and hilarious story with a boring and mundane plot. I learned to let go and be myself. “Write what you know” has been a phrase that’s kept me going and inspired me to put this crazy rollercoaster of a ride to paper. Enjoy the ride as Max’s misadventure becomes a whirlwind of wisecracks, colorful landscapes, and violent outbursts.

Synopsis: When Max discovers his new gaming system is a gateway to another world, he gets really pissed…but he gets even more pissed when he finds out he can’t escape. Candy trees, marshmallow clouds, licorice grass, and rivers of soda, the sugary landscape seems so unreal and…stupid, but it’s more real than Max can bear (there are no bears.) He was standing in his kitchen playing with a new VR headset when he was transported to a colorful cartoon world with an obnoxious cast of characters that wouldn’t shut up! Max must brave the sugary elements and resist the urge to punch his way across this terrible childhood nightmare before he loses his sanity and possibly his life. With the help of his new friend, a half-wit, happy-go-lucky rabbit, they bumble their way through the cartoon land of Max’s childhood. Will he go insane or lose all his newfound friends in the process? Cartoon Clusterf*ck is a fantasy comedy about an adult man who denies his childhood only to be punished by it. He must come to terms with this new reality or risk going completely insane. Inspired by Saturday morning cartoons and an imaginative dream world, this adult tale reminds the reader of the importance of embracing our childhoods.

If you’re interested in leaving a review on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and other review sites, please let me know and I can provide a free copy!

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Out-of-Body Syndrome – Short Story (Sci-fi)

“We are so desperate to be accepted by society that we often condemn others for having the same traits we condemn about ourselves.”

Galen shook his head. “What? That’s not true. You’re saying if someone says they hate serial killers that they are secretly serial killers?”

“You asked me why your friends made unfavorable comments to you. You wanted to understand why Read More

Playing It Cool – Short Story

The clouds were gray and the ground was barren with sand and the bodies of the dead. It was an endless mass of corpses stretching over the horizon, each face smiling with glee, each warrior happy to die fighting each other or a robotic army or horde of fantastical creatures or another nondescript enemy, mostly out of anger, stupidity, and boredom.

This landscape was something I used to be proud of. I created the deserts, I created the tombs, the catacombs underneath, the hidden bunkers, the ruins of perpetual darkness, the overbearing sun and the creatures and monsters therein. But before I opened up this simulation to the gamers of the world, I marveled at the sand and its infinite configuration, how it slid down hill after a slight disturbance or how the grains floated on a slight breeze. Now the sand dunes are covered with splotches of red and black, rifles and other unimaginative weapons sticking out of the shallow graves Read More